do you ever cry because you’ve somehow managed to gain a truly fucking amazing person as your friend? and just think about how fucking blessed you are for their existence and how in some previous life you must have done something fucking amazing to deserve them in this life? DO YOU?
whose line will forever be one of my favorites
this deserves a million notes
- “Eat” the damn Play-doh cookies.
- Slurp the invisible soup.
- Pretend that they’re not causing grievous bodily harm as they “brush” your hair.
- Always be serious when asked what you’d like for dinner, and never say something silly like rabbit soup. Because they will go get their stuffed one off the bed, put it in your best pot, and fill said pot with water. Then place it on your desk.
- Greet their make believe friends and ask how their day was.
- Always kiss the teddy bear goodnight. It has feelings too.
- Always pretend to die when they shoot you.
- If you are having a fake war with them and you shoot them and they say they can’t die because they are invincible, you don’t shoot them again, because they are invincible.
- Yes, their drawing does look like a butterfly, not a bunch of jumbled up lines.
- Them pounding on the piano is the best thing you have ever heard.
no but seriously it’s very important to a child’s development to not be shut down by parents and other caregivers
christmas eve what about christmas adam
happy christmas adam to all men’s rights activists
Please stop pestering us with things like this. This has nothing to do with men fighting for their rights. Eve is short for ‘evening’. Please don’t turn activism into a joke. Thanks.
Someone isn’t having a good christmas adam
i get embarrassed eating infront of anyone because i know they think im already fat enough.
The cat isn’t set on fire, it is a bit of her fur. Chill.
I despise people.
I hate people.
LET ME TELL ALL OF YOU A LITTLE STORY!
when I was a youngin, I had a neighbor about my age with a bunch of cats. There was one he had that he called Coco, and she was a beautiful little brown tabby who was most definitely the runt of her litter. So she was easier to pick on. This fucker set her whiskers on fire. WHISKERS ARE THE MOST SENSITIVE PART ON A CATS BODY. THEY USE THEM TO NAVIGATE IN THE DARK. This little cat came over to our house singed and in massive amounts of pain, and she never came out of our house again. Her name is Heidibelle, she has lived with us for eight years now, and she acts like a mother cat would towards my brother, sister, and myself. Every night she goes into all of our rooms to make sure we are safe and sleeping soundly. If one of us is upset, she comes to make sure we are okay. My Heidibelle is lucky, and I think she knows it because she has gifted us by being an amazing, loving kitty when she had every right to be distrustful of people everywhere.
HARMING ANIMALS IS SERIAL KILLER BEHAVIOR! YOU ARE A SICK, TWISTED, AWFUL HUMAN BEING IF YOU THINK HARMING INNOCENT ANIMALS IS FUN! Instead of regulating gun laws, we should regulate pet owners. My Heidibelle was lucky, but not every creature is. NO ANIMAL DESERVES TO BE IN A HOME LIKE THIS NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU “DONT LIKE CATS” OR “ARENT A DOG PERSON” OR WHAT THE FUCK EVER. YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO HARM A CREATURE THAT, WHEN GIVEN THE CHANCE, WANTS NOTHING BUT LOVE AND ACCEPTANCE.
Now everyone fucking forgive me I gotta get off tumblr and hug all my animals because this shit pisses me off and hurts my heart more than anything else ever could.
Her real name is listed someone should file an animal abuse complaint and have her pay for this. She lives in Redlands, California.
bitch got karma’d.
IM LAUGHING SO HARD AT THIS POST
john this is the stupidest joke ive ever seen in my 19 years of being alive
^aquarium meetup deetz^